Funny I moved and physically there is not much happening now ..mentally I can barely hold it together ..like im constantly discouraged pissed hopeless I guess its redundant lol .. but Im angry at God now ..losing a simple chess game has me raging so bad over the failure even though they are very fast games ..I feel being here sucks so bad ..but not would prob suck worse .. I suppose its because my wife just doesnt give 2 fucks about me for the last 3 years ..this weighed heavily on me .. im by myself basically alone with a woman that idk .. whatever .. I suppose I have nothing im interested in .. even doing this sorta sux especially as I could be partially correct in most of it ..and missed an entire boat ..eh probably an entire planet .. but again fk it ..really does it matter anymore? I miss my sister ..I so wish I watched her that day ..wish I did not feel some protection was there when it was not there .. sorta shatters your world really ..wake up call ..