My deepest apologies I could not be awake to save you ..the guilt through all these years have been unbearable..all of my ideas have been directly to find some way back to you to that horrible point in time to change it ..but it is like conquering death there seems no way back even though I have found time to be physical not concept the same as space and movement are very physical and even though I have found short cuts that may prevent crushing forces I do not foresee reversing this god damnable time line the only hope i have is that quantumly(if its even a correct word.. I am connected back to there..I believe we do fluctuate a bit mentally into the future as is shown in my ideas of why particles appear and disappear but how far ahead and does that mean they fluctuate backwards if so how far and can i ride that wave physically or can i project mentally to that point in time and beg you not to..I doubt this highly but what other hope is there now ..but to think my way back ...I feel its like just sinking into madness and crossing ones fingers ..forgive me forever ..
I miss you Dawn ..if there is ever a way I can find to effectively change this one point in time I will I promise..It is so difficult however .if a change there it could erase the entire future and I would have to redo the rest to have the same children and present wife now ..I dont think i could take the ex ..so maybe a new timeline would be produced but not so much is it the past as it is a future past ..and this timeline runs besides the others ..I understand how all situations can be taking place at the same time this truly is possible ..but how to slip into another time line ..is it through death? and if so would i remember I need to keep dying till I reach the right one....there is too many factors ..or death is death ..and you go where you go heaven or hell or maybe inbetween up to God our maker ..I suppose so isnt your death. sigh..
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