Everything I wanted to accomplish I failed I gave up ..I had talent in so many areas ..gifted and truly I was and I squandered it away allowing it to turn to ash before I even knew ..I failed my parents I failed my family due to this relentless persistant FUCK of a mind that tormented me day and night never ceasing .. medicine I tried councilors ive seen .. I lost hope and quit life in general .. how can I continue in guilt feeling no forgiveness is here because I will forever keep fucking failing . people say oh why dont you work ? ridicule me as if they are better than I am because of title or some speaking power because they work .. I find out most times they are jealous .. please want to trade i would FUCKING GLADLY! barely living scraping by even part time jobs overwhelm me so you know what you need and fail to do it because you CANNOT ..if you think 800 and change a month is wonderful fucking please take my brain and have at it!! .. With me I feel most would not even comeclose to dealing with the shit I do mentally and survive..its fine I get it its not easy to see or feel someone elses misery ..